<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener("load", function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <iframe src="http://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID=26873610&amp;blogName=Dreams+%26+Perseverance..&amp;publishMode=PUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT&amp;navbarType=SILVER&amp;layoutType=CLASSIC&amp;searchRoot=http://hazeynut.blogspot.com/search&amp;blogLocale=en_GB&amp;homepageUrl=http://hazeynut.blogspot.com/&amp;vt=8888122888421797380" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" height="30px" width="100%" id="navbar-iframe" allowtransparency="true" title="Blogger Navigation and Search"></iframe> <div></div>
hazeynut @blogspot.com ♥
Saturday, February 18, 2012

Food For Thought

洪奕婷:我认为的事实

洪奕婷

  后天正好是情意绵绵的情人节,那就先从应景的爱情说起。

  日前在电视剧里看到这样一个桥段:女生崇拜优秀的男生,心生倾慕,可惜落花有意,流水无情,男生拒绝女生时委婉地说了一句:“不要被自己的错觉误导,眼见未为实。”

  言下之意就是“我并没有你想象中的完美”,但这轻描淡写的拒爱之所以精彩在于看似针对情事,却又恰好说中了操控着人类社会的一个无形关键:perception(认知)。

  你我或许都没有察觉,我们每时每刻对人对事的所言所行其实完全有赖认知在引导我们做决定。我们感觉老板今天心情欠佳,所以不敢向他提请假;我们认为老师一向很随和,于是斗胆请求他延迟提交作业的日期等等。根据人类心理学的认知过程(perceptual process)理论,基于有限的时间和注意力,人类鲜少能掌握所有的资料,看到百分之百的事实和真相,所以神奇如人脑会按照所掌握的信息以及当事人的感觉拼凑出一个自我认为的事实(perceived reality)。

  只不过问题是,这个主观事实不一定与客观事实相符。所以,恋爱时美好,结婚后幻灭的问题在爱情世界里层出不穷。人们喜欢将之归咎于“被爱情冲昏头”,但科学地分析,其实不过就是被自己所认为的事实误导。

  在两个人的世界里,认知问题或许还相对容易解决,若不能在落差中尝试彼此调适,便只好劳燕分飞。棘手的是当它放大到机构,乃至国家的层面时,领导人的成败就与他是否善于应付他人的认知息息相关。我这个学期的其中一门课是“公共部门的管理学问”,当中一再出现的关键词就是“perceived reality”。如何激发员工、如何奖励员工、如何打造一个愉快、有效率的工作环境,重点都围绕着员工必须视赏罚为公平的;否则纵使机制的设计是公平的,但只要没有相应得到员工认可,再好的机制也如同虚设。

  同理而论,政府要取信于民,不可忽视这个关键:任何客观事实都必须获得民众的主观认同。在风平浪静时,人民对于政府宣传的美好客观事实多半照单全收,可是一旦危机发生,更糟的是当它一再发生时,人民就难免开始质疑所谓的美好客观事实,并从各种疑点中旁敲侧击,构筑自己认为的事实。最怕是当人民认为的主观事实与政府看到的客观事实相差的距离越来越大,那将形成一道无法拉近的鸿沟,最终更可能导致政民之间的分裂。

  近年来,人民认为的主观事实与政府看到的客观事实不断在连串课题上展开拉锯。从引进外国人到住屋价格高涨,甚至接二连三发生的公职人员贪污事件,乃至最近轰动的原民防部队总监和原肃毒局局长被贪污调查局调查的案件,都一再考验政府如何应付人民的认知。

  有关外国人的课题,我们都知道客观事实是政府有一套眷顾新加坡人的措施,但人民却总是感觉到待遇不如外来人。同样的,政府用数据证明组屋价格依然是人民负担得起的,但民间看到的却是房子越来越买不起。再来,政府强调我国公共服务总体廉洁有效率,但接踵而来的丑闻却已让人民视为政府素质在下降。

打造一个令人满意的客观事实,是一门科学,可是要让人民认为的主观事实与客观事实相融合,却是一门艺术。其中包含了政府如何强化政民之间的沟通,让大家可以在同样的认知基础上迈进,以及政府如何加强同理心,以便更好地了解民间主观事实的成因。应付人心本来就不是易事,因为做得好不直接代表受众会同样感觉良好,因此在做得好的前提上,还有不能忽略的另一重要环节,就是要确保受众也认为好。

  套用回剧中人的话“不要被自己的错觉误导”,足以显示主观认知所产生的影响力,若不妥善应付,轻则让人意乱情迷误堕情网,重则对国家凝聚力构成不可小觑的杀伤力。

(作者是本报记者,目前在李光耀公共政策学院修读硕士学位)
Wednesday, February 15, 2012

a little laugh for V day =D



the creativity of e ppl is great!!

actually this is one qn i have too.. since when yong zheng becomes a every girl's man?? ;p
Monday, February 13, 2012

Musical Monday



In memory of Whitney Houston & 鳳飛飛

their contribution to e music scene 是大家有目共睹的
讓我獻上掌聲與致敬

R.I.P
Sunday, February 12, 2012

Food For Thought

“妹妹发烧”

六弦琴

虎威

  于我来说,无论学什么语言,如果心中有爱,加上持之有恒,总有一天都会变得“妹妹发烧”。

  最近上西班牙文课程,开始做一件“一直想做但又没有做”的事情。

  西班牙语曾学过一点点。那是七年前为了行将到安达卢西亚旅行,买了“自学西班牙语”光碟与册子,反复学习。那时,还不知道自学所可能产生的问题。就这样记住了一些会话,并在旅途中派上用场。

  自学的问题是我弹吉他的铭心经历。三年依书摸索,怡然自得,直到跟随老师学习,方知有多处基本方法错误,须一一纠正 (试想象练习了三年的错误有多难纠正)。这不是书本的事,而是看书者理解不足却又无人指出。

  一把吉他,不只让我上了这宝贵的一课,也引导我走向生命中一些从前不曾有过的追求。学西班牙语是其中一项。诚然,吉他是西班牙献给世人一件最了不起的礼物。爱屋及乌,我因它而对整个西国文化产生莫大的兴趣。早就喜欢塞万提斯的文字、高迪的建筑、米罗的绘画……现在,希望通过学习西班牙文,对西国乃至拉丁美洲文化作更深与更广的探索。

  所“就读”的西班牙语文学校,老师都是西国人。教导我们一班十个初学者的,是位态度亲切,眼睛会说话的俏丽姑娘。从第一课起,她就尽量用西语授课,非必要不用上一句英语。说也奇怪,这样的方式居然也管用。大家一下子进入学习“新”语言的最佳状态。

  由于西文与英文都用拉丁字母,我们在这方面算是有点基础,但得注意两者发音上的差异。比如男子名叫José的,不读“祖斯”读“荷西”,因为J是h音,而e上面有一撇表示重音。又如“请求”por favor,不念“婆发坲”,而念“婆发波”,因为“v”乃“b”音。想起自学西语时有盲点,不知v是这么个读法,到西国旅行到处说“婆发坲”,真汗颜。

  将西文和英文比较,西文某些地方显得复杂。比方说代词吧。英文的I,you,he,she,西文有相应的yo,tú,él,ella。英文he与she的复数为they,而西文根据性别分ellos和ellas。这就像华文的“他们”(男女混杂或纯男性)与“她们”(纯女性)。但西文更上一层楼,连“我们”,“你们”也分性别,分别为nosotros/nosotras 和vosotros/vosotras。

最“绝”的是,西文的动词,会根据代词的不同而有各种变化。简单地用“说”来解释。华文不管你、我、他、我们、你们,一律都“说”,西文“说”的“根字”hablar却“变成”hablo,hablas,habla,hablamos,habláis,hablan(注意h不读出声)。咦,谁说华文难学?

  华文当然难学,一个个方块字,看起来既相似又不相似,怎么认?怎么记?怎么写?西班牙文当然也难学,单单代词与动词的关系就那么复杂,且不说连物体都“无厘头”地分雄雌:书是雄,尺是雌,酒是雄,吉他是雌……那么,是英文易学了。英文有那么多“不规则”,易学?

  看官读到此处,也许已不耐烦:本文题为“妹妹发烧”,妹妹直到现在还不出场,岂不离题万丈?原来“妹妹发烧”是笔者为西班牙词语muy muy fácil(意思为“十分容易”)所作粤语注音。每当上课学生觉得西语某些地方很困难时,我们那位可爱的老师就会摇摇头,面带笑容地说“发烧,发烧,妹妹发烧!”

  于我来说,无论学什么语言,如果心中有爱,加上持之有恒,总有一天都会变得“妹妹发烧”。

轉載自聯合早報


haha, was just talking about e difficulty of learning French with my frens during a gathering yesterday and we were joking tt perhaps Dear shd focus his efforts and learn Mandarin from me since it doesnt have complicated verbs/adjectives as well as simpler grammar rules..

now this article gives me second thoughts about learning Spanish.. ;p

tt said, learning any language is hard..
& it doesnt help when some of the rules of languages are weird/illogical
plus e fact tt ppl tend learn one language while using another language as a base and therein comes e comparison..

personally i do think that languages are actually quite fair
there are certainly some parts which are difficult/tough/challenging to learn but it is being 'compensated' by other aspects which are simpler/easier..
Eg the Mandarin characters can be a nightmare to remember and to write but Mandarin does not have complicated grammar rules as seen in European languages

hence i feel that it is really one's attitude/willingness towards learning a language tt determines the outcome

& one shd really start learning a language as early as possible..
just read one article recently tt kids who know more than 2 languages perform better in some experiments and that the golden age of learning is before 6..
so i really hope Sg parents can stop speaking Singlish to their kids.. it will only do more harm than good.. might as well speak the language you are most proficient at..

hmmm then should i go learn Spanish or not?? =D

the shocking news of corruption involving 2 ex high level/senior civil servants (who are also govt scholars so does scholars = 人才??) has just barely died down, another wave cant wait to take over to continue hogging the headlines...

this time round, it involves prostitution and a ex principal of a famous school.. >.<

im quite surprised to learn tt these ppl were being invited to drink coffee cuz e police busted some online prostitution groups and among the evidences are lists of customers' names..
call me naive but i thought prostitution process is e guy gives e girl money, perform e act and go off?? since when there is 'registration'?!?
& even with registration, some guys are willing to be registered?!?
isnt that akin to leaving ur NRIC behind e crime scene after commiting a crime??!!
even if it is not a criminal offence to visit prostitute, isn't it also a concrete evidence of infidelity??
all i can say is either they are too naive/confident or they were registered unknowingly

back to e ex principal..
on moral grounds, this ex principal who is supposed to be a role model for the younger generation ought to be reprimanded/sanctioned.. esp when he is a married man..

however instead of just punishing/criticising the guy, it is can actually be interesting to look at things from another aspect..
this topic was briefly brought up by a fren during a gathering some time back and tho it can be controversial, it did shed some light from another angle

since prostitution is a grey issue in sg (sg didnt legally ban it and there is e famous red-light district call Geylang), is it wrong (other than morally wrong) to get paid sex??

if a guy's partner doesn't like sex/have low sex drive etc, is it wrong for a guy to go for paid sex??

before all e moralist condemn me, i think it is impt to look at some facts..

for females, sex is an emotional need (some wld argue it is a 'want' rather than a 'need')..
it is a outcome/result of love..
that's why most females will only mate with someone she has romantic feelings for
hence put it very simply, females can live without sex

for males, sex is a physical need.
like it or not, due to e higher testosterone level in males, it means males usu hav a stronger need of sex than females.
hence males can/are able to separate sex from love
though they can control e sexual urge, it takes quite a fair bit of discipline so i believe quite a num cant do it successfully
DISCLAIMER: im not a guy so do correct me if e above view is incorrect

this is where e disparities lies in and hence why prostitution is one of the oldest 'industry' and still surviving

back to the qns, my personal view is that much as i want guys to be loyal (both mental and physical) to their partners, i can close one eye on guys going for paid sex IF the guy's partner is 性冷感 + other forms of sex can't satisfy him + he can't control e sexual urge anymore

notice that it is quite a num of conditions put into an 'IF' and it only applies to attached/married guys..

for those single and available guys, i wont condone sex whether paid or free..
just as single and available girls are expected to behave, i expect e same for the single and available guys..

not a one-night-stand/sex-in-e-name-of-fun-or-thrill supporter

i believe that sex is best enjoyed between couples, so for those without a partner, be more patient..
only when experiencing it with your partner can e greatest satisfaction be derived.


with that, it brings me to another taboo qn..

what are the reasons behind some females' low sex drive besides biological reason?

somehow i believe that e notion that sex is solely for reproduction purpose and that sex is a dirty/shameful act plays a big role..

for e first notion, i will say it depends on how one looks at things..
if one feel anything to be a chore, one wont be interested to do it mah.. isn't it??
think positive!!

for e next perception, it really puzzles me..
all of us are products of sex so if one feels shameful of sex, why isnt e same person shameful of himself/herself and/or his/her presence in this world??
sex is a normal part of life!!
yes, we dont need to glamourise sex..
BUT on the other hand, do we need to penalise sex/put sex in such a bad light??
& i hate it all e more when this perception is enforced by parents to just the daughters only & not e sons!!!
so unfair!!


probably enough discussion on e topic of sex..
lets move on to more '正經' matter

this episode makes me wonder if the civil service/govt as clean/upright as it claims??

is it pure coincidence that all these negative news regarding civil servants were reported within a short span of time??
or are there more serious underlying problems??

moving forward, is there any reflection and/or rethinking done by e relevant authorities??
have they thought of how to restore e now-tarnished reputation??
Saturday, February 11, 2012

hmm is it very easy to get pregnant?
after knowing some who got pregnant within 2 mths of marriage, right now a good fren is also 'following their footsteps'.. wow..

can it be due to the girls' relatively younger age??

or both e couple are in good health??


& this year is indeed a hot year for giving birth, must brace myself for e 2nd wave of invites (baby shower)..
& of course, not forgetting e 1st wave red bomb aka wedding invite
Tuesday, February 07, 2012

recap of the actors/actresses in 步步驚心!!! ;)
個個是俊男美女。。。
看得我開始有點自卑了。。




Monday, February 06, 2012

Musical Monday

Sunday, February 05, 2012

Food For Thought

同桌吃饭

吴庆康

  现代家庭每个成员为生活奔波劳碌,回家的时间各不相同,基本上要同桌吃饭已经很有挑战性。难得有机会同桌吃饭,却被电视机/节目干扰吃得心不在焉,确实让人懊恼。

不知道是我家情况独特,抑或是普通现象,现代(华人)家庭似乎很少有机会平时一家人好好地在家中同桌用餐。

我说“好好地”,指的是一家人半个不缺,从起筷到扒完最后一粒米饭,都专注地做在餐桌上该做的事:吃。与此同时与同桌人闲聊几句,话家常。这看似理所当然的简单平常事,事实上越来越困难。

上个周末到一意大利厨师朋友家中用家常便饭,踏入他的新家,发现客厅没有电视机。这“意外”和偶尔看见一些朋友家中居然没有预料到的书橱,同样“惊讶”。

厨师朋友说他不要家人或朋友一回家就被电视勾去了魂,所以只播放轻音乐,配合柔和灯光和舒适的空调,他希望进门后的家人或朋友,可以珍惜在家中的时光,聚首聊天话家常,而不是时刻对着方盒子。

说得真好。

电视机在一定的程度上确实是“科技魔鬼”。起初刚出现的时候,一家人总会聚在一起看节目,确实有强化家庭凝聚力的魅力。但当电视机廉价得可以每个房间一台,人人开始捧着碗筷米饭进入自己的房间边看电视边吃饭,原本的家庭凝聚演变成了家庭分化。

别人不说,我家就有三台电视机,就算过年吃团圆饭,每个人的嘴巴虽在吃,眼睛却在看(电视),就算只是一些无聊的节目,闪动的画面还是有魔力分散了大家原本应该专注的事情。

现代家庭每个成员为生活奔波劳碌,回家的时间各不相同,基本上要同桌吃饭已经很有挑战性。难得有机会同桌吃饭,却被电视机/节目干扰吃得心不在焉,确实让人懊恼。突然想起小时候吃饭看电视总会被爸爸骂的情景,原来真有道理。

我最羡慕的是厨师朋友家中那张超大的餐桌,像餐厅那样摆好餐具酒杯,没有其他杂物,大家坐下之后舒服得不愿离开,唯有和旁边/对面的人说话。没有特定话题,从起初的寒暄,到后来找到一些有趣的共通/共同话题,那整个过程有“人性”得令人欣喜,尤其是在社交媒体充斥的今日,更觉久违,这才是活生生的生活元素。

撇开电视机这个“障碍”不说,我们或许真的得花时间反省反思同桌吃饭的意义。家家当然有本难念的经,有些家庭不同桌吃饭也有原因,但怎样和天天见面的人利用进餐时间促进感情/联系?谈些什么内容让对方知道自己生活上的一些感受?如何在家常便饭中更了解家庭成员,心平气和商讨家事?

其实不必想太多,普通的问候、简单的updates,即使无话可说,只是夹把菜到父母、孩子,或伴侣的碗碟里,简单的一个餐桌上的动作,已经胜过千言万语。

从今天起,若有机会与家人同桌吃饭,在那短短的十五、二十分钟,试试看把电视机关掉,改而播放轻音乐,把在外闯荡已久的心重新归位,专注在洋溢饭菜香的餐桌上,看看是否会有不同体验?
Saturday, February 04, 2012

hmm i think i have become more and more open/receptive to new things/thinking since I've been with Dear

positive thing right?

tho nt sure if learning how to horse bet is desirable.. lolz
& horse betting is as addictive as soccer betting.. with many different versions to bet too..
no wonder horse betting is another big 'industry'

okay, i must learn from to resist after tasting a little win on my side..
見好就收

cuz im e one who doesnt believe that one can win really big cuz e probability is jus too low..
jus like e 10 mil Toto today..
winning e top prize is one in 500,000
& i didnt win anything which is no surprise cuz Toto is not easy to win..
hence i was a little shocked when i saw ppl buying as if it dun cost a cent to bet..
ppl, think of e opportunity cost =D

& think i do have a little luck here and there..
cuz my slight disappointment of not winning anything in Toto is compensated by winning some MBS vouchers.. =)
*happy happy*






我想我可能是沒有橫財運,但是絕不會怨天尤人
命中有時終須有, 命中無時莫強求
知足常樂就重要 ^.^
Friday, February 03, 2012

another founding PAP member passed on...

though i can be a critic of the PAP, i express full gratitude to the founding members cuz they are the ones that really went through all the ups and down to bring Singapore to where is it today..

RIP Dr Toh
Thursday, February 02, 2012

should i be surprised to read about the recent comments about top CEOs regarding that Sg students lack the drive and unwilling to get out of their comfort zone?

isn't this the reality for years and isn't it too late for the Education Minister to realise it only now??

& who can blame the students for behaving and thinking this way when the society is still rather intolerant of failure, conformist/too law abidding, too focused on tangible results eg academic achievement and uses material possession as a important or in fact, only measurement of success??

not sure about now, but what has been drilled inside the Gen Y minds is that go into a good school, get good results, then get a job that paid well and from there you can lead a comfy life..

looks like it didn't deviate too much right now if what i see among my ex-students are representative of the Gen Z in general..

so isn't the gahmen being too slow to get to know this reality??

& they wonder why Singaporeans are not reproducing enough...
okay, they somehow get it by saying during CNY that the govt is looking beyond financial measures/incentives to boast the fertility rate

but to be frank, im not sure how these deep rooted attitudes can be changed overnight and how they are going about to change esp since they are all for incremental change rather than drastic change..

this also brings me to the whole debate of western vs asian education system..
if there is ever a 'flaw', it is precisely what the Edu Minister is worried about
& i must admit finding the right balance is never easy...
Monday, January 30, 2012

my dreams ;)


Musical Monday

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Food For Thought

京都之美
叶孝忠

在路上

  保留了唐韵的京都,不断在提醒旅人古代中国之古雅与矜持,古京都的城市规划取材自中国长安众所周知,连日本朋友也问,若是如此,那么京都对中国游客而言,岂非不具吸引力,因为眼所及处都是熟悉之景象,旅行是为了寻找非日常的生活,新鲜感是旅人的兴奋剂,而京都的飞檐灰瓦对中国人来说太熟口熟脸了。

  我们现在很难想象如果京都没有中国会是何等模样,但经历了千年光阴,站在京都的街头巷尾,不禁会令人唏嘘:如果中国没有京都,又如何能为我们重播自己过去最美好的回忆,而它们都被京都小心翼翼的封存了起来。

京都的著名寺庙,真能用人山人海来形容,但这人山人海也是安静而井然有序的( 除非你遇见一些出游的小学生)。每一个窗口、小角落、墙角的竹篱,都那么不经意透着古意的淡淡趣味。京都人善于表达美,总能把日常之景及作息转化为干净简洁的画面,不费吹灰之力就能巧夺天工,其实不然,这些千锤百炼的姿态背后都是努力和坚持,过于精致,或许会让你觉得很累,但总比安于粗糙好。

  在京都,我是不情愿做一些游客做的事的,金阁寺和银阁寺就让它们留在美好的想象中。我更爱在大街小巷中无目的的闲逛,京都漂亮的街道很多,不少人家还有小溪依偎,溪水总是清澈,杨柳依依,小桥流水,白鹭驻足,游人凝望,特别是白川近鸭川一段,那条小路会轻易让人联想起丽江,只是少了千军万马和喧闹的游客。

  京都是最适合走路的城市,特别是东山、岚山一带,就算做个舒国治所谓的“门外汉”,在门外张看,也觉得惬意。这几处景点云集,却不是单个儿存在的,寺庙和神社之间依旧有耐人寻味的寻常人家,一个转角,竟然还能遇见绿油油的稻田,的确没有一座城市能像京都一样,在昂贵的市区还耕耘着一亩亩的辛劳绿意。

(传自京都)

(博客:blog.omy.sg/yexiaozhong)

笔心
Wednesday, January 25, 2012

this CNY is simply busy busy busy..

but finally my home is in a much more presentable state right now.. ;)
though there are still some bits of cleaning to be done after the end of CNY

it did surprises me at how much rubbish was being created and thrown away
cuz i dont clear my things just once a year..
& i still have loads of barang barangs now..

要比較捨得的丟??
還是當初別買比較好?;D

now still recovering from all the activities..
not complaining tho cuz even for cleaning, e sense of achievement after e hard work outweighs e fatigue..
& also went to Chinatown for countdown for the first time and got real cheap bargains!!!
no wonder there were many ppl like us who were braving the crowd and the rain cuz 一切都是值得的.. hee
now looking forward to do e same for next year and i will definitely go better prepared.. haha
Monday, January 23, 2012

Musical Monday



still haven get over 步步驚心。。
good plot, excellent actors/actresses..
wat else can i say??
i definitely highly recommend it!!

& not forgetting,

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR!!! (^^,)
Thursday, January 19, 2012

its good to feel clean and relaxed/pampered for the upcoming Lunar New Year..

haven been looking forward to Lunar New Year for at least the past 2 years now so im a little surprised tt im looking forward to it which is certainly a good sign..

can't be dull everyday for 365 days right? ;D
Monday, January 16, 2012

Musical Monday

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

2012-01-07 Express Highlight (Luncheon) from Stephen Moh on Vimeo.